My Lonely City

… but they still made me smile, so I’ll let you read them, too.

Actual Headlines:
(well, possible headlines, anyway)

Include Your Children in Baking Cookies
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Plane too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
War Dims Hope for Peace
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (cracks me up every time)
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax (way to go, Bessie!)
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Two Soviet Ships Collide; One Died

And that’s that.